How To Shower – Woman vs. Man

 

How to shower like a Woman:

  • Take off clothing.
  • Place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
  • Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
  • If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
  • Look at your womanly physique in the mirror.
  • Make mental note to do more sit-ups, leg-lifts, etc.
  • Adjust breasts.
  • Turn on shower.
  • Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
  • Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
  • Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
  • Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean.
  • Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passionfruit.
  • Rinse conditioner off hair.
  • Shave armpits and legs.
  • Get out of shower and stand directly on bathmat.
  • Dry with towel the size of a small country.
  • Spray mold spots with Tilex.
  • Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
  • Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

How to shower like a Man:

  • Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
  • Walk to the bathroom naked.
  • If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the ‘woo-woo’ sound.
  • Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
  • Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
  • Turn on shower.
  • Wash face.
  • Spend majority of time washing privates.
  • Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
  • Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds.
  • Wash your hair.
  • Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
  • Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
  • Pee.
  • Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat.
  • Dry off forearms and butt only.
  • Draw a penis on the mirror.
  • Then draw boobs so you feel manly.
  • Shake wiener and watch water fly off.
  • If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the ‘woo-woo’ sound again.

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